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Personal Statement
When I Compose I
Part I
When I compose, I start small.
A chord.
A gesture.
A scale.
That becomes an idea.
That idea is a seed that I plant.
I have to treat it with care, and let nature take its course.
But because it’s my seed I can’t be inattentive.
I’ll cultivate it.
I’ll water it and make sure it has enough sun.
Not all seeds grow, as is nature’s way.
But every now and then a seed will sprout and blossom.
Sometimes the seed will grow into a diaphanous flower.
Sometimes into a sturdy tree.
When I compose, I am a gardener.
Part II
When I compose, I start big.
A large-scale formal structure.
An overarching concept.
An emotional goal.
These things become the foundation.
Without a strong foundation, a building can collapse.
That doesn’t mean that the foundation can’t change when you start to build.
It will adapt based on the landscape, the weather, the materials you decide to use.
But a strong foundation is important.
With it comes the stability to fill in the details and the nuance that give the building a spirit.
When I compose, I am an architect.
Part III
When I compose, I speak.
I believe that all artists are storytellers.
Beethoven knows this.
But so do countless visual artists, dancers, and other non-textual and performance artists.
When I compose, I want to tell a story.
I am drawn to ideas found in narrative structure.
Beginning middle end.
Character development.
Plot types and twists.
These ideas help me to express themes and ideas to which I am inexplicably lured.
Telling a story in turn helps me to best express these ideas in ways that work toward a moment of catharsis and realization.
When I compose, I am a writer.
Part IV
When I compose, I pray.
It’s no wonder to me that when we pray, we sing.
I’m not a religious person, but when I hear, perform or write music that’s meaningful to me, it can be very spiritual.
I think that’s why Arvo Pärt is one of my favorite composers.
His music seems to grasp at something cosmic.
I don’t think that a single composer or single piece is universal, but I do think that music itself is universal.
And the spiritualness in Arvo Pärt’s music is, perhaps, one of those universal things.
I don’t presume to write music that will offer something to everyone who hears it.
But I do hope that I can convey something about my experience and my own personal spirituality that will speak to people.
A composition teacher once told me that the best way to convey yourself through music is to love what you love as much as you possibly can.
When they said this, I thought to myself, what do I love more than music?
So when I compose, I love.
Part I
When I compose, I start small.
A chord.
A gesture.
A scale.
That becomes an idea.
That idea is a seed that I plant.
I have to treat it with care, and let nature take its course.
But because it’s my seed I can’t be inattentive.
I’ll cultivate it.
I’ll water it and make sure it has enough sun.
Not all seeds grow, as is nature’s way.
But every now and then a seed will sprout and blossom.
Sometimes the seed will grow into a diaphanous flower.
Sometimes into a sturdy tree.
When I compose, I am a gardener.
Part II
When I compose, I start big.
A large-scale formal structure.
An overarching concept.
An emotional goal.
These things become the foundation.
Without a strong foundation, a building can collapse.
That doesn’t mean that the foundation can’t change when you start to build.
It will adapt based on the landscape, the weather, the materials you decide to use.
But a strong foundation is important.
With it comes the stability to fill in the details and the nuance that give the building a spirit.
When I compose, I am an architect.
Part III
When I compose, I speak.
I believe that all artists are storytellers.
Beethoven knows this.
But so do countless visual artists, dancers, and other non-textual and performance artists.
When I compose, I want to tell a story.
I am drawn to ideas found in narrative structure.
Beginning middle end.
Character development.
Plot types and twists.
These ideas help me to express themes and ideas to which I am inexplicably lured.
Telling a story in turn helps me to best express these ideas in ways that work toward a moment of catharsis and realization.
When I compose, I am a writer.
Part IV
When I compose, I pray.
It’s no wonder to me that when we pray, we sing.
I’m not a religious person, but when I hear, perform or write music that’s meaningful to me, it can be very spiritual.
I think that’s why Arvo Pärt is one of my favorite composers.
His music seems to grasp at something cosmic.
I don’t think that a single composer or single piece is universal, but I do think that music itself is universal.
And the spiritualness in Arvo Pärt’s music is, perhaps, one of those universal things.
I don’t presume to write music that will offer something to everyone who hears it.
But I do hope that I can convey something about my experience and my own personal spirituality that will speak to people.
A composition teacher once told me that the best way to convey yourself through music is to love what you love as much as you possibly can.
When they said this, I thought to myself, what do I love more than music?
So when I compose, I love.
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